@fluffy This comes off very similarly to the guy who wrote Setting the Record Straight. Much of what he says is true, but it fails to understand why the Western world worked as it always has prior to 1950, and has since devolved into chaos. It's not something that was just "going to happen" and goes out of his way to avoid challenging many of his own ideas and seeking deeper truths.
An interesting read either way, thanks for sharing
An interesting read either way, thanks for sharing
@fluffy Everybody must cope with reality in ways they find comfortable. Some people were trained, by their parents, teachers, or overall society, into coping in ways that ultimately helps them.
If you end up with a bad habit you need to replace it with something else that scratches the same itch. Like taking an interesting piece of trash away from a child, you need to replace it with a baby toy or else they start crying.
So I would say look at the deepest causes of why you are reliant on something that you know is harmful in one way or another. And what might be similar but healthy, but you may not like as much.
One of my biggest revelations was when I outright stopped caring about time wasting mobile games. I understood the pull that they have on me, to do work that takes time and be rewarded, and sought to fulfill that elsewhere.
I still have many vices that I'm slowly working towards fixing, but baby steps are usually the only thing you can do alone.
I think it's also important to have a goal, or some kind of guiding principle. Then it can be easier to ask "Is this helping me get to where I want?" and correcting your own behaviour.
If you end up with a bad habit you need to replace it with something else that scratches the same itch. Like taking an interesting piece of trash away from a child, you need to replace it with a baby toy or else they start crying.
So I would say look at the deepest causes of why you are reliant on something that you know is harmful in one way or another. And what might be similar but healthy, but you may not like as much.
One of my biggest revelations was when I outright stopped caring about time wasting mobile games. I understood the pull that they have on me, to do work that takes time and be rewarded, and sought to fulfill that elsewhere.
I still have many vices that I'm slowly working towards fixing, but baby steps are usually the only thing you can do alone.
I think it's also important to have a goal, or some kind of guiding principle. Then it can be easier to ask "Is this helping me get to where I want?" and correcting your own behaviour.
@fluffy There isn't a single set of techniques, since every person lives unique lives. You may share similar coping mechanisms to me, but not identical. Other people cannot self-introspect for you, you need to do that yourself.
The only other alternative to changing your own mind, is having your mind broken and rebuilt. You definitely don't want that to happen, unless you trust who's doing it with your life.
The only other alternative to changing your own mind, is having your mind broken and rebuilt. You definitely don't want that to happen, unless you trust who's doing it with your life.
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@fluffy If things like that work, then that's good. I can't "trick" myself into behaving better though. Either I need a replacement or I need an outside force to maintain it.
@fluffy No, no matter how much I try to force myself to stop many different habits I cannot do it like that. There are many habits that are simply outside of my free will and ability to change my own mind. I'm not going to lie to myself and say I can accomplish anything.
Instead I need to rationalize why I have those habits and replace them. That's the only thing that works for me.
Instead I need to rationalize why I have those habits and replace them. That's the only thing that works for me.
@fluffy Unfortunately not really. I understand my own process, but in many cases don't have suitable replacements.
In many cases trying to find a good replacement is the real hurdle to cross.
In many cases trying to find a good replacement is the real hurdle to cross.
@fluffy @cirnog I had trouble with this for a while. Especially with the internet you can be trained to have a shorter attention span. I still have a lot more I want to read, but keep eschewing it for easily watchable videos.
I think one of the biggest things is when I do have the willpower to do something like read a book or do something healthy, I will do my best to keep at it for as long as I can.
Eventually I'll go back to being unhealthy, but maybe next time I can keep it up for a little longer.
I think one of the biggest things is when I do have the willpower to do something like read a book or do something healthy, I will do my best to keep at it for as long as I can.
Eventually I'll go back to being unhealthy, but maybe next time I can keep it up for a little longer.